


Breaking The Habit

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon, Drama, Fluff, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-31
Updated: 2004-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-26 22:59:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12068706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin finally cracks, and the only way Brian knows Justin won't leave, is if he lays everything on the line.





	Breaking The Habit

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Memories consume like opening the wound   
I'm picking me apart again  
You all assume, I'm safe here in my room  
Unless I try to start again

I don't want to be the one the battles always choose  
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused

\- - - - - - - - - - 

‘What’s wrong with Justin? He’s been so weird lately. Ever since I got home today, he’s been kind of been ignoring me, like giving me one word answers or not speaking to me at all. Why can’t we just go back to that time when he was sitting on top of me on the chaise, and he was feeding me ice cream. God, it was a lot easier to get him on his stomach then. Well, I might as well just ask him, nothing’s going to get resolved until he tells me what I did wrong this time,’ Brian thought as he walked over to the drink cart. “Justin, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Brian asked, pouring himself a glass of Jim Beam. “Fine. You want to know what my problem is, Brian? It’s you. It’s always you. You don’t believe in love, you believe in fucking. Well God damnit, Brian. If you don’t believe in love, then why the fuck are you with me? Have you taken pity on me? Because it’s not like you love me. And if you did, I would never fucking know it. All you do is push me away and I don’t know if you ever loved me, or ever will. But you fucking succeeded in making me love you. And I haven’t regretted a day of it, but if you fucking let me in it would be a lot easier to love you and a lot harder to leave. You fucking make me fall in love with you, and then you push me away. Like I don’t mean a fucking thing. Like I’m not important to you at all,” Justin ranted, as he walked over to Brian, knocking the glass out of his hand. “Then what the fuck are you still doing here? You can fucking leave whenever you want. No one’s forcing you to be here. It’s not like it matters. So get the fuck out!” Brian screamed, pointing at the door. Justin just grabbed his coat and walked out. Brian slammed the loft door closed and slumped down in front of it. 

\- - - - - - - - - - 

I don't know what's worth fighting for Or why I have to scream I don't know why I instigate And say what I don't mean I don't know how I got this way I know it's not alright So I'm breaking the habit I'm breaking the habit Tonight... 

\- - - - - - - - - - 

‘Why the fuck did I just do that? I didn’t think he’d fucking listen to me. Now what do I do?’ Brian said, grabbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. 

\- - - - - - - - - - 

Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door I try to catch my breath again I hurt much more, than any time before I have no options left again I don't want to be the one the battles always choose 'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused 

\- - - - - - - - - - 

Brian padded over to the coffee table and picked up his cell phone. “Emmett, I fucked up. I need to fix it,” Brian said, rubbing his forehead. “Oh, Jesus. What did you do?” Emmett asked. “I had a fight with Justin and I just let him leave,” Brian said, sitting down on the couch. “Then what the fuck are you doing calling me? Go after him, you twat!” Emmett said, and Brian heard a dial tone on the other end. He sighed and walked over to the door. He took a deep breath and unlocked the door. On the other side was an unexpected face. “Justin,” Brian said. “What took you so long?” Justin asked, walking back into the loft. Brian grabbed Justin by the neck and pulled him into a hug. “Look Brian, I didn’t mean what I said. You don’t have to prove anything to me,” Justin said, as he took a seat next to Brian on the couch. 

\- - - - - - - - - - 

I don't know what's worth fighting for Or why I have to scream I don't know why I instigate And say what I don't mean I don't know how I got this way I'll never be alright So I'm breaking the habit I'm breaking the habit Tonight… 

\- - - - - - - - - - 

“Why do you do that?” Brian asked. “Do what?” “Take the blame for me being a royal jackass. You shouldn’t have to do that,” Brian said, putting his hand on Justin’s shoulder. “Bri -” Justin began. “No, Justin. Let me talk,” Brian said, as he took a deep breath and was about to lay everything on the line. 

\- - - - - - - - - - 

I'll paint it on the walls 'Cause I'm the one at fault I'll never fight again And this is how it ends 

\- - - - - - - - - - 

“Okay, god damnit, I feel like a big dyke right about now. I guess I want you to know that I wouldn't mind it horribly if you were around for, well, a long time. You get me, I guess. You don't take my shit, and you're one of the only people who just tells me to shut the fuck up and tells me I'm old. However, that last part is quite cold, so we're not gonna use that anymore. You're important to me,” Brian said, as he looked around the room. “Brian,” Justin started. “No, Justin, you don’t need to say anything. I just wanted you to know that,” Brian said, grabbing Justin’s hand. “So what do you want to do now?” Brian asked. “You just want to get laid, don’t you?” Justin asked, smirking. “Very much so. However, if you don’t want to, I completely understand. We can talk,” Brian said. “Ew, don’t pull that hetero ‘we can talk’ shit on me, we’re a bunch of horny fags. And by the way, have I ever turned down sex?” Justin said, grabbing Brian’s hand and leading him to the bedroom. “Not yet,” Brian said, giving a tongue-and-cheek smirk. “Exactly. And I don’t plan on turning it down anytime soon.” 

\- - - - - - - - - - 

I don't know what's worth fighting for Or why I have to scream But now I have some clarity To show you what I mean I don't know how I got this way I'll never be alright So I'm breaking the habit I'm breaking the habit I'm breaking the habit Tonight 


End file.
